


She Will be Loved

by Tdtori



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint and Bobbi in the beginning, Clintasha will happen, College AU, F/M, I promise, Talk about eating disorders, University AU, brief talk about physical abuse, not descriptive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 14:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tdtori/pseuds/Tdtori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Romanov only went to college to escape her abusive uncle and to dance, not to make friends. When Clint Barton shows up, it changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic! Any constructive criticism would be awesome.

"Of course she got the lead, she's a fucking Russian." One of the other girls mumbled under her breath.

 

"Don't use my heritage as your excuse for being a shitty dancer." Natasha rolled her eyes and started to pack up her stuff to head back to the dorms. Whoever said college was the best years of your life had been wrong so far; Natasha Romanov's first year was not going well. She had almost no friends, but that was okay, being alone was what she preferred. That also may be why people avoided her; they thought she was weird, a loner, and too full of herself. Most of it wasn't true. The only time she liked attention or people noticing her was during her dance class. That's one of the reasons she chose this college, for their dance program. The other reason was to get away from Ivan, her legal guardian, and a more than a little abusive man. On her way back from the class, Natasha took a longer route, since it was more scenic and less people took it. Apparently, someone else had the same idea and she quickly turned around so the other person wouldn't notice her, but that didn't work.

 

"Hey! Wait!" The voice, male, called after her and she froze in place. Why anyone would want to talk to her was beyond her. Soon, the man was standing right in front of her, smiling. "I've seen you before."

 

That was a surprise; Natasha did everything in her power to not get noticed. "Uh, yo-you have?"

 

He nodded his head, almost a bit confused. "Yeah, I've seen a few of the dance performances you've been in...My girlfriend makes me."

 

Well, she thought, this is awkward. People just didn’t come up and talk to her for no reason. Actually, they didn’t talk to her at all. "Cool, I'd love to say and chat, but I've got a paper I need to be writing for tomorrow." Okay, so, that was a lie, but the chances of someone knowing that were slim. Besides, social interaction was exactly her forte and she didn't even know who this kid was.

 

"I'm Clint...Clint Barton." He stuck out his hand and Natasha reluctantly shook it. He was probably the only college kid that actually shook hands with other college kids.

 

"Natasha Romanov. Maybe I'll see you around." Her smile was faint and basically said that there wasn't a chance in hell. With that, she walked past him and prayed he didn't follow. He didn't. Most people would stay and talk, procrastinate from projects and papers, but being independent was something that she was not giving up. Once back at her dorm room, where her roommate was actually pleasant and didn't try to take her to parties or anything, Natasha flopped onto her bed looking at the popcorn ceiling.

 

            "My boyfriend told me that he ran into you." Bobbi Morse( the roommate) bounced into the room with a grin. The girl was a goddamn genius and one of nicest people on campus…not like Natasha had anyone to compare her to, but Bobbi actually tried to talk to her.

 

She sat and blinked at the other girl, silently jealous of her looks, brain, athletics, even her social life. It would be amazing to have people that actually cared about you and wanted to hang out with you, but no one made an effort to even get to know the girl.” Who’s your boyfriend?"

 

"Clint Barton." Bobbi said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Said you had to work on a paper, when I know for a fact you don't." An eyebrow quirked and a confused look was put on her face, as if everyone should be as social as her. Even if the girl was nice, she had know-it-all tendencies.

 

"Uh...I really didn't feel like talking to him was all. It wasn't anything personal." Natasha shrugged and laid back down on the bed.

 

“I think you guys would really get along, maybe even be friends! You should talk to him tomorrow." The blonde smiled encouragingly, which was weird, because what girl wanted other girls to be friends with their boyfriend? They were one of the most well known couples on campus, Bobbi with her looks and brains, Clint was training to be an Olympic archer and had good enough smarts.

 

"Um...I might. It depends if I see him again or not." Technically, Natasha should be practicing, they were putting on Swan Lake and she was the lead. Again. Dancing being the only escape she had from...anything. The answer satisfied the roommate, who didn't even bother to make sure that the red head was eating. Nat would be skipping dinner for the third time this week. Eating disorders were common in the world of dance, especially ballet. You had to be skinny, small chest, and preferably long legged. Although Natasha was skinny, her ballet professor wanted her to loose about ten more pounds. That would put her at 90 pounds, almost dangerous territory, but Natasha was willing to do anything for dance and that meant starving.

 

Days passed, then weeks, and there was no sign of running into Clint Barton again. Not than she cared of was counting, of course. So, when the man appeared in her dorm with the ever so perfect Bobbi, it surprised her. "Uh, hi." She gave the two a small smile and looked down as she was still dressed in short shorts, a tank top, and her pointe shoes.

 

"Natasha! Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to bring Clint over to work on a project for our psychology class. I hope we won't be a bother to you." It was so hard not to like someone who was so nice all the time. Clint realized that it was the Natasha from all those weeks ago and his smile grew. She just looked at him and furrowed her eyebrows together, why would he be smiling at her? How did he even remember her?

 

"No, it's fine, I was just going to go to the studio." Lie. Getting out the dorm seemed like the best idea right now. Why would she want to be around her perfect roommate and her perfect boyfriend? Besides, she could go to the studio if there wasn't anywhere else to go.

 

"Why don't you stay and you could show is some moves?" It was his voice and it sounded just like she remembered...not like she thought about his voice often. And there was a tiny, tiny, hint of a smirk on his lips. Obviously Bobbi didn't notice or else she would probably be all over him, telling him off.

 

"Um...I mean, I'm really not that good and you guys should work on your project." Natasha stammered out, unlacing her shoes and putting on a sweatshirt and sweatpants. As much as she liked being noticed for her dancing, when it was people she hardly knew made her uncomfortable. Besides, it wasn’t like she knew how to take a compliment in the first place, no ever complimented her.

 

“Please, you're wonderful, we've seen some of the shows you were in and you did amazing." Bobbi touched her shoulder, making Nat jump back a little bit. His eyes were not on his girlfriend, but on her and they burned. She went to her bed and buried her nose in a dance theory book, while the couple sat on Bobbi's bed not working on the project at all. After a few hours and some work getting done, they invited her to dinner with them. "C'mon Natasha, how can you say no to that face?" Clint was giving her the best puppy dog face she'd seen, which wasn't many.

 

"No, I need to finish this book. By the time I eat I'm sure you two will be long gone." She was skipping again-down to 103. Soon, he was sitting right beside her and his hand glided over hers, taking the book from her hands. "Hey! I need that!" Natasha sat up and glared at him, a look that would usually make someone melt into a puddle. Clint hardly flinched.

 

He shook his head and put the book under his shirt, his tone suddenly flirty. "You'll have to take my shirt off if you want it." Natasha raised her eyebrows and made a face, then grabbed another book from the desk next to her. No way was she going to take off his shirt in front of his girlfriend, besides that was exactly what Clint wanted.

 

"You can keep the book. It's dance theory, enjoy." Natasha shrugged a little and put her nose back into the book, this one being dance history. "Don't challenge me, Mr.Barton, you will lose." His mouth was slightly agape and Bobbi was looking confused at what just went down, not seeing the small grin that was starting to grow on his or Natasha's face.

 

They left and Natasha couldn't help thinking maybe Bobbi was right. Maybe Clint and her could be friends. Maybe.


	2. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise visitor comes to the dance studio with an interesting request for Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the positive reviews last time; as my first fic this is amazing! Also, thank you to my amazing beta, Watts - you're amazing!

Days had passed since Natasha had last seen Clint and her dance theory book, but that was perfectly okay with her. Bobbi was still trying to get Natasha to make friends with him, inviting her to lunch and to football games, but she had an excuse ready every time.

It was a Saturday night and that meant a private dance lesson. It was also a football game, but she had no interest in going to that. 

"What's you weight at?" The instructor barked as she did pirouette after pirouette. Her weight was steadily decreasing, but it was also getting more noticeable and Bobbi had even asked a few times if she was eating.

"95," she called back as she returned to fourth position. Her teacher frowned, clearly angry that she wasn't at the 90 pound mark yet. "I'm eating one meal a day and working out like crazy, I'll get there soon enough." Natasha shot back at her instructor in a defiant tone, her arms crossed.

"Well...just keep doing that. As long as you get there before opening night, I don't want to know how you do it. You're not irreplaceable, Natasha." He raised his eyebrows challengingly. Huh. So he was threatening her to lose weight now. That was certainly a new one.

Then she was alone, surrounded by mirrored walls to watch her every move. Soon the music started again and Natasha went from the top. Each movement flowing into the next, her feet moved to the music until it suddenly stopped. She turned around with her hands on her hips, ready to snap at whoever was there. 

"That was good. Why don't you like performing in front of other people? Well, besides your recitals,” Clint asked. She was surprised, not expecting a familiar face.

"How'd you even know that was I here? This is a private room." Natasha crossed her arms over her chest, feeling self conscious in her dance outfit. No one ever usually wanted to see her, let alone going to the effort of actually seeking her out.

"Bobbi told me. I decided I wanted to see you dance. Have you been dancing all your life?" Clint took a few steps closer to her, obviously intrigued with the whole idea of ballet. 

Natasha nodded and started unlacing her pointe shoes, putting them back into her dance bag. "Yeah. I know ballroom, salsa, jazz, and ballet. Guess which one I prefer?" She smiled for the first time in a while, then looked away in embarrassment. When Natasha looked back up, Clint was right beside her with a grin on his face. "What do you want?"

"Think you can teach me how to dance?" His voice was quiet and it she figured that he felt awkward about asking her. "Just some simple moves, y'know, like ballroom stuff." Clint shrugged a little and Natasha sighed, finally nodding her head slowly.

"I guess I could do that. Do you know any footwork or gymnastics?" She stood up and noticed how close he was to her, her heart beating a little faster for reasons she didn't understand. 

"I know gymnastics...pretty damn good at it, actually, if I say so myself." Clint gave a smug smile then chuckled. That made Natasha roll her eyes and take a step back. "Would you mind if we just started today?" Of course she minded, she wanted to go back to her dorm room and sleep or go to the gym – a high intensity work out was in order at some point if she wanted to keep her weight down.

"...Fine. I can't promise it'll be perfect since neither of us are wearing proper shoes, but it'll do." Natasha sighed and walked over to the middle of the room, motioning for Clint to join her. Soon he stood in front of her and she placed his hand on her waist. 

"This is part of the dance, right?" He quirked an eyebrow, though if Natasha had said no he probably would've kept it there. 

"Why wouldn't it be?" She raised one of her own eyebrows and put her hand on his shoulder, then held his other hand. "The guy always leads. So, first just walk backwards a few steps." He nodded and just started to walk normally, with Natasha trying to keep up. "No, no, you have move gracefully. You have to, like, flow." 

"Flow? Like water?" Clint laughed and started to move a little more gracefully. Natasha nodded encouragingly and then they started to move backwards...until he stepped on her foot. "Oh, shit! I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's your first time and you're actually not that bad at it." She smiled and moved his hand back to her waist. "Let's try moving back again." They did and it worked, it flowed and though it wasn't seamless, it wasn't horrible. He didn't step on her feet again and they started to move side to side. 

An hour or so later and they decided that was good for now. "That was...fun. I didn't think that I would actually like it that much." Their hands fell to their sides, except for the hand that was on her waist. "Maybe we could do that once a week or something?"

Natasha nodded and let his hand stay on her waist, she didn't really notice and even if she did, it felt nice. "How does every Saturday evening work? Maybe next week we can work on spinning." She smiled a little and he took a step closer to her. It made her nervous, having him so close to her, but she didn't want to move. Her emotions were conflicting with each other – on one hand she liked having him near, and on the other all she wanted to do was run away.

"Ooh, sounds like fun." Clint laughed a little and his arm wrapped completely around her waist, pulling her closer to him. They were practically chest to chest. 

"What are you doing?" Her voice was small and she couldn't look him in the eye. He had a girlfriend, a perfect and beautiful girlfriend, why would he be acting like this around her? There was nothing special about her, and the attention he was giving her made her flustered. 

"Maybe we should hang out more." At that Natasha moved out of his grip and went back to her ballet bag, getting ready to head back to her dorm. Clint looked at her in confusion, eyebrows furrowed.

"Maybe." There was no way that could happen, besides these weekly dance lessons. She didn't want to say the words out loud, so tried to convey them by barely saying anything at all. "I have to go. Homework to be doing, dance books to be reading." She smiled a little and left the practice room, a little flustered and, for some reason, giddy. 

When Natasha finally for back to her dorm room, Bobbi was there working on something on her computer. She stayed silent, changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt and opening her laptop to YouTube. She liked to watch ballet techniques and use them to critique her own when she had some time to spare.

"Where have you been? You've been out for, like, three hours!" Bobbi turned around and faced Natasha, her eyes flickering with concern.

"At the studio. I'm the lead in Swan Lake, remember; I have to make sure that the performance is flawless." She shrugged, still looking at the ballerinas on her screen. 

"For three hours? Natasha, something's up, I can tell. You can trust me." Bobbi sat down on Natasha's bed, watching her sadly. 

Trust. As if Natasha was going to trust some girl just because they were roommates and she was giving her boyfriend dance lessons. Trust did not exist in her world. Nobody could be trusted. "Yes, for three hours. Just like you can spend three hours in the lab. Why are you so surprised? You knew I was there. You even told Clint I was there."

"I thought you would only be there for an hour or so, not three. And I didn't tell Clint, I told him you danced, but not that you would be in the studio." The blonde shook her head, a look of confusion and(for some reason) happiness. "Are you guys becoming friends, then?"

'Friends' – such a broad term; it could mean so many different things. "I guess you could say that." Natasha shrugged and peered put from behind her laptop. "How long have you guys been dating?" It worried her a little that he acted so...flirty around her when he was dating Bobbi. Maybe it was just his personality, but she didn't want to get involved in any drama between the two.

"Almost two years. We were high school sweethearts, and voted most likely to get married." She proudly stated with a wide grin on her face. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason in particular, just...curious." Her face disappearing behind her laptop again, confusion mounting as she considered Clint's behaviour. They were perfect together and yet he would risk that just to flirt? "You guys are perfect together," she mumbled, watching Bobbi get up and go back to her desk from the corner of her of her eye. 

There was no need to tell her about the dance lessons, right? They weren't hurting anybody – besides, he would probably need to know how to dance for his wedding. Clint would still spend the majority of his time with Bobbi; Natasha was just someone who was helping him out. That was all it was. Really. She repeated that to herself that until the guilt started to fade away.


	3. A little less than friends, a little more than strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Natasha slowly start opening up to each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the kudos and comments, I really appreciate it!  
> Thanks to my lovely beta- watts (aka Ella)

The dance lessons were going well, they were still meeting every Saturday night and Bobbi still didn't know - it was better that way. Besides, they only saw each other for those few hours, around campus or for short moments in she and Bobbi's dorm. 

Clint was actually friendly, but still made small moves on her; kissing her cheek goodnight and keeping his arm around his waist; they kept that a secret too. It wasn't like Natasha wanted him to do it, but she definitely wasn't telling him not to. 

By the time their fifth lesson came along, he was able to dip and spin Natasha with ease. Natasha was surprised by how much she liked dancing with him and how good he ended up being. They were walking in the direction of her housing complex when Clint lightly grabbed her arm.

"Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe near the fountain or something?" Even in dusk, Natasha could tell that he was giving her a hopeful smile - the one that was hard to say no to.

"Fine. I'll have to be back in an hour or so, Bobbi would go crazy with worry." She laughed a little and turned to walk in the new direction. It wasn't warm out, but it wasn't cold, atypical for how it should feel in mid-October. 

"Yeah, if Bobbi considers you her friend then she'll worry crazy about you." Clint smiled and stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking up at the blackening sky. "Can I tell you something?" 

That was a loaded question if she ever heard one and that made her nervous to say yes, but obviously he wanted to get something off his chest. "Yeah, sure." That also meant that he trusted her and that alone scared her. 

He sighed and thought about what he was going to say. "First of all, this is just between us. It's about Bobbi and me...even though I really do like her and she's an amazing woman, it feels empty. I don't know if our relationship just hit a plateau or this is the beginning of the end. It doesn't feel like it did when we first started dating." Clint looked over at her, waiting for what she had to say.

"If you're looking for relationship advice, I'm the last person you should ask. I mean, college does change people and maybe she isn't the person you thought she was." Natasha shrugs and smiles apologetically. "You should talk to her; maybe she feels the same way or you guys can work things out." There was a feeling in her gut that he wouldn't want to work things out. Silence fell between then as he thought about what to say. It was comfortable and she actually kind of liked talking to him. Kind of.

"Yeah," Clint finally spoke, "I'll talk to her tomorrow and we'll figure something out. Sometimes I just need to talk out loud before I come up with a solution. Here, sit with me?" Natasha nodded and they sat by each other, rather close, watching the water spur out of the fountain. "So, why'd you choose this school?"

There were two reasons, but Natasha could only tell him one. "They have a really good dancing program and they gave me a scholarship." And I have an abusive uncle that I live with, because if I don't then he doesn't pay the rest of my tuition. 

"I've seen some of the performances and everyone is really good, especially you. You're practically flawless." Clint smiled and gave her knee a squeeze. 

"What about you? Why did you pick this school?" She couldn't look at him, her cheeks may have been slightly pink. 

That was when his expressions changed from a happy one to a more somber looking one, making Natasha wonder what she could've said wrong. "For one, it's just a really good school and they have a good pre-law program." Her eyebrows raised slightly, he had to be pretty damn smart to be in pre-law. Bobbi and him really were perfect. "Second, it's far away from home. Third, I got a really good scholarship as well."

"You wanted to be far away from your family?" She glanced over at him with her head tilted slightly. Clint didn't seem to be the type to come from a not-so-good home life, but who was she to judge?

"Yeah, it's a...long story." He couldn't help but to chuckle a little and shrug. 

Natasha didn't press him any further about his situation, if he wanted to tell her then he would tell her. "I know what you mean. I really wanted to get away from my...family too." If one could even call her uncle family. 

A small smile started to form on Clint's lips as a similarity between them arose. "Yeah? Why'd you want to get away from yours?"

"Oh, uh...y'know, I was fed up with them. I needed to get away and be my own person." Even though she wasn't very specific it was still the truth, so it counted.

"Me too! Technically, I'm at this one halfway, it's where eighteen year olds in foster care go, right now and they are so inconsiderate and they think they can control every aspect of my life." He rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. "I can't complain too much, I've been at much worse places before."

Natasha nodded, wondering why he wasn't living with his parents, but again not asking. "My uncle is really controlling too, I know how it feels." That was when he moved a little closer to her and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Those are the worst...Like, just let me be who I am! I would move out, but they're helping pay for the other part of tuition. Is that why you haven't moved out either?"

Natasha wasn't sure what it was, but it was so easy to talk to him. It wasn't like she would just spill every detail of her life story, but this was the most she had ever told anybody. "Yeah, I don't have job or any way to get money." She shrugged and looked away in the opposite direction. 

"Well, maybe you could apply for one on campus? There are a lot things you could do!" He smiled hopefully at her as if he was giving life changing advice. 

"I might. Between classes and dance I don't have a whole lot of time. After Swan Lake we'll be putting on Cinderella and the cycle continues." Natasha sighed and looked back at him, smiling a little. "Thanks for the advice, Clint."

The mood changed again, it became darker as the sky started to do. "Can I tell you something else that no one else knows?" Trust- there it was again. Natasha didn't want to know his secrets, that wasn't why she was here. Besides, he had a girlfriend to talk to and who would want to know. 

"I...I have to go. Bobbi's going to wonder where I've been and I still need to finish a paper. Next Saturday night, yeah? Maybe we can move on to some more contemporary stuff." She stood up and smiled, putting her dance bag over a shoulder, then started to walk away briskly.They were getting too close, he was starting to actually tell her things and she was opening up a little too. The shouts for her to come back were clear as day, but that didn't stop her. 

When Natasha was back in her dorm room, she fell on to her bed and the rate of her breathing picked up. The tell-tale sign of a panic attack...just because somebody was opening up to her and liked being around her. 

"Where have you been? Have you been dancing this entire time?" Bobbi instantly came over and checked to make sure she was okay. "I'm getting worried about you, Natasha."

"I have a goddamn solo in this goddamn ballet in case you haven't noticed! I'm going to be dancing a lot as of now!" Her voice raised and her chest did the same. "I'm fine, Bobbi, I promise." The last thing she needed was being on Bobbi's radar as well. After exploding on her, Natasha instantly regretted it and she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry...I'm just stressed and I need sleep." 

Bobbi didn't move, didn't care that she just yelled in her face. "I understand. How about I bring you dinner and some tea." It was so hard not like her; she was too perfect.

"I'm fine, I already ate." That was a lie, but she only had a couple more pounds to loose until she reached 90 and she had to get there before the instructor replaced her. Bobbi believed her and walked back to her desk, typing away furiously at it. 

The relationship with Clint was still on her mind, how could it not? Trust was starting to form between them, but Natasha knew all to well that once you started trusting someone that they'd just take advantage of you. What she didn't know was that Clint was still sitting on that bench, wondering what he'd done wrong.


	4. Trust is a Dangerous Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint opens up to Natasha  
> Natasha starts to open up to Clint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!! As always, thanks to Ella for beta-ing.

She canceled their next dance lesson, blaming it on homework and her dancing. Bobbi even asked her if she could tell if Clint was acting weird.  
"I haven't spoken to him in a while, maybe he's just stressed." Natasha was getting ready to leave for an individual dance lesson. The answer made Bobbi huff quietly, the cracks in her and Clint's relationship slowly forming. Then it was time to leave and spend hours working on her solos.  
  
As she finished the dance for the dance for the third time the instructor finally smiled. "That was perfect. See, I told you losing weight would help." All she could do was nod and tried to remember the last time she ate. Had she even eat breakfast? "I think we're done for tonight. Just keep your weight where it is ." A 'beautiful' 90 pounds.  
Natasha was just doing some freestyle ballet-no structure, no music, just dance. It helped clear her mind and distracted her from everything that was going...and was there a lot going on.  
  
"That was beautiful. What dance is that from?" A voice said suddenly, making her jump and turn around.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Natasha's eyes narrowed and she went over to her dance bag.  
  
"Trying to find you, you aren't exactly the easiest person to track down." Clint gave her a friendly smile and walked over to her, still a bit wary of whether she actually wanted him here or not. That statement surprised her though, no one ever willingly sought her out. Why would he?  
  
"Yes, well, I try to keep it that way. It isn't Saturday, no dance lessons." She stood up and faced him with a bored expression, trying to hide how she really felt-which was excited and kind of happy.  
  
"I know, that isn't why I'm here. I just wanted to talk to you. The bench by the fountain?" His smile made the offer tempting, but she couldn't allow herself to say yes.  
  
"I would, but I have a project, need to read some dance books, and I have an early class tomorrow. Maybe next time?" There wouldn't be a next time, there couldn't be a next time.  
Clint frowned and gently took her hand, which made her pull away instantly. "What's wrong?"  
  
Her eyebrows raised and she laughed. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?! You just held my hand, not to mention all the other flirting, when you have a girlfriend!"  
  
"Just...just stay and let me talk to you." At this point his tone was pleading and Natasha knew it was serious, but she couldn't allow herself to get to close-that was how you got hurt.  
  
"I can't, I'm really sorry, but I have to go." she started to turn around and head towards the door. Then, there was a tug on her wrist and Natasha paused for a moment. "Let me go." Clint let go, surprisingly, and she kept walking. 

"You can't keep running! I just want to be your friend!" Clint shouted after her and she turned around, getting within a foot of his face. 

"Don't act like you know me. You have no idea who I am!" Natasha growled and stared at him.

Clint just watched and his eyes widened. "Sit." His voice softer and he took her hand as he sat down. She followed and sat across from him, staying quiet. "When I was seven my dad threw a beer bottle at me."

Natasha didn't know why he was telling her this. Possibly just needed to get it off his chest. So, she stayed silent and let him talk, intertwining her fingers with the hand that held hers. 

"When I was ten the...beatings happened pretty much everyday. A punch, a kick, throwing things, and words that cut." Then, he held out his other hand and revealed a burn and then pulled his collar away to show one on his collarbone. "Cigarette burns. There are scars all over too." A feeling inside her started to build, a desire to reach out and touch the scars. She decided that wouldn't be a good idea.

Natasha's eyebrows furrowed together as he showed her his scars, leaning forward to get a better look. What would she say? What could she say? Apologies were pointless. This moment, him pouring himself out, had to be the most intimate moment she had ever experienced.

"Not even Bobbi knows the full story. You're the only one." It meant he trusted her more than his girlfriend. "Natasha...I'm starting to-." That was when she cut him off, she had too.

"My parents died when I was young, I don't even remember them to do be honest..." Natasha sighed, not knowing why she was opening up to him. Perhaps she just needed to get it off her chest. "I live with my uncle, but he doesn't treat me like family. It's more like I'm the slave and he's the owner." 

Clint just watched her in awe, even smiling a little since she was actually opening up to him and telling him about her. Natasha twiddled with her fingers before looking up at him. "My parents and uncle are Russian, so he put me in ballet since it is very traditional and I've loved it ever since." She shrugged and gave him a small smile. 

"Wait! Since your family is Russian can you speak it?" Clint's eyes widened with wonder and excitement, then gave her hand a squeeze. 

Natasha laughed a little and nodded, he was so adorable when he got excited. She couldn't believe she just thought Clint was adorable...it was just a one time thought. Right? "Of course I do!"

Clint got even more excited, if that was even possible, at that confirmation. "Do you think you could teach me?" Yes, he wanted to learn the language, but being around her felt so right. 

"I guess I could. We could still do dance lessons if you like. Let's see...maybe we could meet before the lesson and spend an hour or so on Russian?" Natasha really didn't need another activity to do, but how was she suppose to say no? This wasn't good...she would have to spend time away from him so the feeling, whatever it was, could go away.

That was when he stood up and Natasha followed, then his arms wrapped around her and she couldn't help but to hug him back and grin. "That sounds perfect. Thank you so much. You're the best."

"I'm not the best, far from it, but you're welcome. I need to start speaking it more often anyways." She moved away from him and went over to her dance bag. "I've really got to go now. Bye." Natasha smiled and gave him a small wave; Clint was still grinning ear to ear even after she left.

When she got out of the building, Natasha saw the sun was just starting to dip below the horizon. Something inside of her told herself to trust Clint, that if he told her all that and she could say a little and not get judged, it would be fine. Despite sharing so little about her, the next lesson would be canceled . After all, it was always easier to run away.

On the way back home her mind was still on the subject of Clint. How could she start to like him? Trust him? Both thoughts were crazy. Nobody stuck around for Natasha Romanoff and nobody ever fell for her either. It was like an unspoken rule, but maybe...the rules would be broke. Just this once.

Once back at the dorm, Bobbi was pacing and looked to be thinking hard about something. "Oh good you're back. I'm questioning something." 

"Uh yeah, I can see that." Natasha nodded and laid down on her bed, bringing the covers up to her neck, still thinking about Clint and if they ever would be friends. She wanted to, but people left and people hurt you and she did not want to go through that again. 

"I'm breaking up with Clint!" She blurted out and put a hand over her mouth.

"What? I thought you guys were doing well." Natasha furrowed her eyebrows again, pulling the duvet over her head completely to hide a small smile that was growing on her face.

"It feels so repetitive and we've been really distant lately. I think he has changed since high school." She sighed and sat down on her bed, Natasha poking her head out. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be..."

The timing was...odd, Bobbi wanting to break up with him right after they had that huge talk and shared things with each other. Not like he was cheating on her, but the timing of the whole thing made Natasha think. Besides, Clint did say a few weeks ago he was thinking about doing the same thing. It would probably just be a mutual decision. 

"You'll find someone." Natasha smiled, both a comforting one for her and a happy one for herself. Though, she couldn't help to think how Clint would react around her now that he didn't have a girlfriend. That scared her more than it should've, it meant he would become more flirty around her. 

"So will he."


	5. The Show Must Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha starts to become even more comfortable with Clint - much to her surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos! I always appreciate it!  
> As always thanks a million to my beta, Ella!

Much to Natasha’s surprise nothing really changed between her and Clint. There were times where he kept his arm around her waist for a little long or he just held her hand for no real reason, but there was no flat out flirting or talking about their relationship- or lack thereof. Their dance continued Saturday evening and Natasha didn’t cancel any, much to her surprise again. 

 

“There won’t be any lessons next Saturday, that’s when Swan Lake is and I’m going to be a little busy.” She smiled as they sat against the wall next to each other, their hands finding each other’s and intertwining their fingers. The next week was going to be hell, she would be dancing almost every night for long, excruciating hours. “You should come see it on Friday, that’s opening night and you would be able to see me really dance.” 

 

Clint nodded and gave her hand a squeeze; ever since the break-up he seemed a lot happier and just overall more pleasant. “Of course, just give me a ticket and I’ll be there. I’ll even throw you a rose when you take your curtain call.” 

 

“Trust me, I’ll make sure that you get the best possible seats.” She laughed a little and leaned her head against the wall; even though she never got nervous or got stage fright, the idea of Clint watching her gave her butterflies in her stomach. Or maybe they were there for a different reason. “While you’re throwing the flowers you have to say ‘bravo’ over and over again.” 

 

“Of course, that’s the only way I would do it!” He chuckled and stood up , pulling on Natasha’s hand for her to follow. “C’mon, I want to keep dancing with you.” Soon they were in the middle of the floor moving around as if they had been doing this forever, that was the way it felt at least, as if they really had been doing this forever. Their movements always flowed together and Clint was able to lead her as if he had been trained for months. Their movements could only be compared to a couple that had been together for a long time: even though it was predictable, it was fun and never boring. 

 

“You know, when you first told me you wanted me to give you lessons I thought that it would be horrible and that you would be awful.” Natasha smiled as he dipped her and then spun her around. “I’m pleasantly surprised at how good you actually are.”

 

At first he pretended to pout, but then he laughed and moved around the dance studio with Natasha holding on to him. “Well, I probably would be awful if anyone else was my teacher. Lucky for me I had you and you are a fantastic teacher.” All she could do was nod her head and know that a redish tint was coloring her cheeks. “You’re blushing! Are you embarrassed to be called a good teacher?”

 

“I don’t do well with compliments, even dance compliments sometimes.” Natasha shrugged and tried to look away from Clint, but he was too tall to look anywhere else. It shouldn’t have made her blush, the usual dance compliments never made her blush; thus leading her to believe that because it came from Clint it made her blush, which was ridiculous. With that she stopped dancing and dropped her arms to her sides. “I think we’ve had enough for today, yeah? I’m going to be busy this week so I may not see you until the show on Friday.”

 

His arm stayed around her waist, actually pulling her closer to him and at this point they were chest-to-chest. “I can’t wait to see you. I bet you’ll be absolutely beautiful.” Clint smiled and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

 

The gesture and the closeness was too much for her and she moved out of his grip. “Yeah, I can only hope so. There are going to be a lot of scouts there.” She nodded and picked up her stuff, then gave him a small smile. “I’ll see you then, Clint.” With that, Natasha was gone and heading back to her dorm. She was wrong, Clint was slowly revealing his feelings for her without even saying anything. That scared her more than any dance she had to do.  
\--------------------  
The only thing that went wrong that Friday was that the weather had gotten significantly colder, but that was to be expected since it was November and students would be going home soon.

 

The finale came and in the end Natasha’s Odette and the prince end up both drowning, which surprised almost all of the audience. It went flawlessly and when the curtain call came for only Natasha to stand on the stage she got a standing ovation. One rose did hit the stage and she took it, smiling in the direction in which it came from. Clint kept to his word of throwing the rose onto the stage. 

 

Backstage everyone was hugging and congratulating her, a few dance scouts from prestigious New York ballet schools. Then arms wrapped around her in a tight hug and Natasha knew immediately that it was Clint who was hugging her. 

 

“That was beautiful, you were beautiful and I never thought that I would actually enjoy a ballet, but I did.” He smiled widely at her and Natasha couldn’t help but to smile back at him. “Though, why did they both kill themselves in the end?”

 

Natasha blushed and looked down at her feet before looking back up at him when the red was gone from her cheeks. “Well, the prince tries to save the princess, Odette, from the curse that changed her into a swan; only the magician that cursed Odette is smarter than the prince thinks and to escape the curse they both kill themselves, because they can’t imagine living without the other. There’s another version where the prince kills the magician and he lives happily ever after with Odette, but I like this version better since it shows the dedication to each other.” Natasha shrugged and blushed at how she kept rambling about ballet when he probably didn’t care that much.

 

“A lot more romantic than I thought it was.” He shrugged, not minding how she kept talking about it, in fact he kind of liked it, then hugged her tight again. “Do you think we could go to the studio and just hang out for a little bit?”

 

“I wish I could, but I have to stay here and help take some things down. Then I have to get ready to leave on Tuesday. Are you going back home for Thanksgiving?” Natasha removed herself from him and went to gather some of her stuff together. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the hugging, she just didn’t want anyone talking about them and didn’t want to give Clint the wrong idea about them.

 

Clint sighed and put his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor. “Unfortunately. They might angry if I didn’t come back home for a holiday. Are you doing anything special?”

 

She almost laughed, if she was lucky her uncle wouldn’t hit her, if she was lucky she wouldn’t have any scars when she came back. She was never lucky. “I doubt it. I’ll probably just find a dance studio to practice at for the entire time.”

 

“Maybe we could hang out? We only live like ten, fifteen, minutes away from each other. We could just go to a park or maybe we could continue the lessons.” The idea and Natasha’s nodding made him smile a little wider.

 

“Yeah, I’d like that, I’ll need to get away from my uncle as often as possible. I think you should probably get going, we’re going to be doing some boring evaluations and tearing down. I doubt you want to hang around for that.” Natasha rolled her eyes and started to walk over to where everyone else was standing. 

 

“I don’t mind waiting, besides I’ll walk you back to your dorm.” Clint smiled and sat down against wall, making sure to stay out of everybody’s way.

 

\--------  
It was a few hours later when Natasha was finally done with everything and when she walked over to where Clint was waiting she laughed when she saw he was asleep. “Clint, you have to wake up, you should get back to your dorm.”

 

Clint grumbled and rubbed his eyes, smiling sleepily when he saw Natasha standing in front of him. “Yeah...oh, no! I’m walking you to your dorm, it’s dark and I don’t want anything happening to you. She decided not to argue with him, it was pointless and it was a nice enough gesture. 

 

When they reached her dorm they just stood outside the door, making sure to be quiet since Bobbi was just on the other side. “Well, I guess I’ll see you over break then. Oh, you need my number.” She smiled and wrote her cell phone number on Clint’s palm. 

 

“I’ll text you and we’ll figure something out.” Clint nodded and looked at her number as if he was memorizing it. “Before you go-”

 

Natasha knew what he was going to say and that wasn’t something she wanted to hear. When he said those words everything would change, because she couldn’t and wouldn’t say them back. She just smiled and opened the door. “I’ll see you over break, Clint.” Then left him standing on the other side.

 

“I just wanted to say I really like you and wanted to go on a date with you over break.” He sighed and turned around to head for his own dorm.


	6. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving break comes and Natasha starts to have some revelations about her and Clint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have my laptop for a week so this is a little late, sorry! I also made a history reference at the end, because it fit and history is awesome.  
> As always, thanks to my amazing beta Ella.

When Thanksgiving came, Natasha said her good byes to Bobbi and Clint, she made sure to tell him that they would definitely hang out which got a big smile out of him. Although there was a possibility of them hanging out, she wasn't counting on it.

Once she was home - she used that word very loosely - there was a little unpacking to do and soon her uncle came up to see her. 

"Natalia! Why didn't you let me know that you were home? I have to know if you're home or not." He towered in the doorway and a thick Russian accent accompanied him. There weren't many things that scared Natasha, but her uncle was one of them. He was capable of leaving bruises that lasted weeks and didn't think twice about it. 

"I'm sorry, Ivan, I just got home and wanted to get a few things out." She tried to smile and put on the facade that she was okay; that was difficult since her uncle criticized every little thing she did wrong...which was practically everything. 

"Natalia, I don't ask much out of you. Just get good grades, dance well, and respect me. Ignoring me is being very disrespectful." They went back and forth a few times, their voices rising each time they started talking again, which was definitely Natasha's mistake. 

"Your parents would have been too easy on you! You should be thankful that I'm your guardian, because without me you would be nothing!" He sneered and left the room, but not without leaving two new bruises upon Natasha's face.

Almost immediately after she took out her make-up to cover up the blue-purple marks; that was the only makeup she really wore, besides costume makeup. The cover up wasn't perfect looking, but you could only tell that there were bruises if you looked really closely. 

The next move Natasha made was on impulse, she pulled out her phone and texted Clint. It wasn't a bad move, because she did tell him they would hang out, but she wasn't sure what would happen if she did see him, considering how she basically slammed the door in his face as he was about to admit his feelings for her. 

Meet me in the elementary school park in ten minutes. 

It was simple, but as vague as could be; he would be confused and definitely ask what was up. After telling her uncle where she was going and that she would be back in an hour or so, surprisingly he was okay with it.

By the time she got there, Clint was already there and sitting on swing waiting for her. Natasha smiled at him and sat on the swing next to him. "How have you been?" Her voice was quiet, small, as if it didn't really belong to her and to an extent it didn't belong to her. It belonged to the scared, afraid, and everything she usually wasn't. 

Unfortunately, Clint took note of this and just barely furrowed his eyebrows together, but didn't say anything about it. "Fine. It's only been the first day back, Natasha." Only he said in a questioning tone, wondering why she had wanted to hang out so early into the break. "What about you?" 

Natasha swallowed hard and smiled little, nodding her head slowly. "I'm okay. Can't really say it's home sweet home, though." She shrugged and looked down at the pebbled ground. 

"What's going on?" Clint swung a little and just watched her. 

She continued to just look at the ground and then looked back up at him with a smile. "It's nothing out of the ordinary. Don't worry about me, Clint."

"I always worry about you." His tone serious and at the same time, utterly caring. "I worry about your home life, how you're getting skinner by the day, I worry how you are so slow to open up to me and everyone else." 

"Clint..." Natasha muttered and looked up into his eyes that looked so sad. "I can take care of myself." But the thought lingered and her smile grew. 

Somebody actually cared about her, wanted to be around her, was actually worried about her. This never happened, people just thought she was stuck up and stubborn as hell. Someone actually cared and genuinely liked her. Natasha realized that she cared about him too, cared how his home life was so broken and how he had bounced from foster home to foster home. It would be easy to let down every wall she had put up and let herself fall for him. She thought about it some more and realized that maybe she already was. No. No, she couldn't be, the walls had to go back up and push him away until he gave up. 

"Why are you sticking around? Why me?" Natasha shook her head and studied him, it was as if he was too good to be true. They almost always were. There was absolutely nothing special about her and she just kept pushing him away, he had to be crazy to stick around for this long. 

Clint sighed and thought for a moment, swinging a bit more and shaking his head. "You're intriguing. Each time you push me away and don't tell me something, I just want to stick around and have you know that I am always going to be here." 

It made her almost sick, no one should be this kind or want her take the walls down; of course, it didn't really make her sick, more like surprised. His feelings for her were obvious, maybe he didn't know he was being obvious, but Natasha was an expert at reading people. Clint was everything that she wanted in a boyfriend, but there were people that were better looking and kinder than she was. Friendship was fine, but only friendship. 

"My uncle is going to be expecting me back soon and I'd rather not see his face when I come home late." Natasha smiled and stood up. "We'll hang out again before we get back, I promise."

"Natasha, just a few more minutes, please." He grabbed her wrist and she stopped, maybe running was getting old. "We haven't even been here for that long, just stay for a little longer. Besides, you can't keep running from me. I'm not out to get you like you think everyone else is."

She sighed and looked up at the sky, it was that perfect shade of blue you always see in postcards. It was also the first time they actually talked to each other while it was still daylight out, Natasha randomly thought. 

"It's a lot easier if you would just let me run." If she ran neither of them would get hurt and feelings would be sparred. God only knows what would happen if she did stay. "This is for your own good, Clint." She yanked her arm away from his grip and started walking back home.

"I don't care what's good for me! I care about you Nat!" He called out to her and if that wasn't begging than Natasha didn't know what begging was; she stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned around with her jaw slightly open. This man wanted her no matter what she did or what she said. He wanted her and all her faults and all her brokenness. And damn, if she didn't think Clint was perfect before than she definitely did now. "Please...just come sit back down, we don't even have to talk if you don't want to." 

How was she suppose to say no to that? How was she suppose to turn back around and keep walking? She didn't. No, it was more like she couldn't. "Clint Barton..." Natasha just looked at him as if she was seeing him for the first time and in a way she was. "I'll stay for a little longer." They both sat back down on the swings in the most comfortable silence that Natasha had ever been in.

When the time really did come for her to leave, she didn't want to. She had started to really enjoy their time together and just being in his presence. "I really do have to go this time. No running, just a horrible uncle to try to not disappoint." She chuckled a little even though it was far from funny. 

"That's okay, I believe you." He stood up and pulled Natasha to her feet, hugging her tightly. Her arms instantly wrapped around him. "I meant every word I said. I really do care about you, Natasha." 

All Natasha could do was nod her head into his shoulder and look up at him with a smile. "Thanks, Clint. You have no idea what that means to me." After a few more minutes in the embrace they parted ways.

Even though she was still struggling with her feelings for Clint, the friendship was becoming something she was actually enjoying. She looked forward to spending time with him and just being around him, not even talking. 

The next wall that had to be taken down was the one that protected him from her uncle, her wonderful home life she had only mentioned a few times before.

Mr. Barton, tear down this wall.


	7. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha almost gets more than she can handle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More violence than any other chapter. Talks about sexual abuse.
> 
> Sorry for the delay. Real life comes first as always :)  
> Thanks to Ella for catching all my mistakes.

It was the last day of break when Clint texted her asking if she wanted to meet at the park again. This time she didn’t reply.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hang out with him, it was that her feelings were making her judgment cloudy and she really needed to take a step back to evaluate the situation.

Hanging out with Clint would mean talking about her, as it usually did, and she didn’t want the attention nor did she want Clint to get the idea she liked him. The lines in their friendship were becoming blurred and they needed to come back into focus.

Clint ended up texting her again, this time asking if everything was okay. If she didn’t reply to this one that would worry him and that was the last thing she needed.  
So, she sent a simple ‘I’m fine’ and hoped that he would leave it at that. For the moment it satisfied his worry for her.

Natasha couldn’t stay in her house for very long, things would get messy and she would end up texting Clint again in a rash decision.

It was only a walk to clear her head and try to figure out what their friendship was becoming, because if it was anything more than friendship she wouldn’t know what to do about it. Would they still be able to be friends with the weird feelings? She couldn’t afford to lose Clint’s friendship because one of them ended up liking the other. It just wasn’t worth the risk of losing her only real friend.

She didn’t know where she was; she had been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn’t paid attention to where she was. This part of town was unfamiliar and her heart started beating a bit faster. “It’s fine. You can handle yourself and you aren’t in any real danger.” Natasha told herself out loud as a way to calm her nerves at being completely lost.

It was getting late and she had no idea on how to get back home. The neighborhood and the street signs were unfamiliar and nothing looked very inviting. The houses were run down with overgrown weeds and bushes. Paint was chipping off the cars and the fences around the homes. Men stood out on their porches drinking beer and their attention was slowly drifting towards Natasha. Then before she knew it one of them was right in front of her and she just about screamed.

“Hey, sweetheart, whatcha you doin’ around here? You don’t look like you belong here.” He reached out to touch her face and she swatted the hand away. “Oh don’t be like that. I just want to help you. I’m sure mommy and daddy are very worried about you.” The man chuckled darkling and grabbed her wrist tightly, pulling her towards one of the houses.  
“Get the fuck off me.” She spat and tried to use her other arm to get a punch on him, but he just turned around and slapped her hard. Her teeth gritted together, it was harder than how her uncle hit her, but there was no way she was going to cry here. “I’m sure there are other girls around here that are much more interested in you than I am.”

“Sweetheart, I ain’t interested in any of those girls. None of them even come close to how you look.” He grinned and she noted that some of his teeth were missing. “If you try any funny business again, I’ll make sure that you really regret it. Somethin’ tells me you’re used to bein’ hit.” The man smirked and Natasha thought she was going to be sick.

She was going to have to think of something fast, because they were fast approaching a house and there was no way she was going in there. “You think you’re so strong don’t you?” Her eyes narrowed and there was a slight snarl in her voice, which definitely got his attention. “You’re going to regret that you ever looked at me, you piece of shit.” That got her a punch to the jaw, but she had received worse and it didn’t knock her off her balance too badly. Luckily, she was able to get a sharp jab just below his jaw and then a swift kick to his groin.

“You’re a piece of work, has anybody ever told you that?” He doubled over and held his jaw with one hand. “I ain’t givin’ you up that easily, girl.” That made her swear under her breath and huff a little bit. At least it would be more interesting than just taking the punches like she did from her uncle. The man came back at her with a punch to her stomach that made her double over and lose her breath for a moment. He brought her back up and pressed his lips hard against hers, and she pushed him away as soon as she knew what was going on.

“I think you’re mistaking me for someone that gives up easily.” Natasha spat at him again and punched his noise, she could feel the bones in knuckles break a little. With her other hand she brough a knee back up to his groin and he fell to the ground with blood pouring out of his nose. Once she knew that he wasn’t getting back up, she took off running and didn’t stop until she reached the park she met Clint at the other day. She sat at a swing and tried to catch her breath and make sense of the situation.

It was a situation that was headed for nothing good if she hadn’t been able to throw a few punches, because that man seemed very persistent on bringing her back to his house and having his way with her. Just the thought of it made Natasha shiver and her breath got shaky again. Her hand reached for her phone and she dialed Clint’s numbered. He picked up within the first ring. “Can…Can you please get to the park, as soon as you can.” He didn’t ask any questions, not yet at least.

She didn’t want to talk about it just yet, but she needed somebody here because being alone right now felt like the worse possible thing. When he got there he just sat down on the swing next to her in silence, but the most comfortable silence. “What’s wrong, Nat?” The nickname came as a surprise, but it was nice and kind of special since he would be the only one calling her that.

“I…There was an incident.” Natasha muttered before looking up at him so he could see the bruises already starting to form on her face. “Not with my uncle.” She added and bit her lip, because that was all she really wanted to say.

Clint waited for her to continue, but when she didn’t he didn’t say anything else. “I’m sorry. Whoever did this can’t touch you now and it’ll be okay, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Natasha believed him. Believed that the man couldn’t touch her, that it would be okay, and that he would protect her. Only she was still in her fragile state and her body didn’t believe that. “Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t make it any better.” She gritted her teeth and let out a long sigh. “You weren’t the one that got slapped, punched in the jaw and stomach, and almost forced into the man’s house!” Her heart was racing and she stood up in front of him; her eyes were full anger and fear. Anger that he would think a simple sorry could make it all better and fear that the man would find her again.

The last statement took him off guard and his mouth dropped a little. He stood up and shook his head, not knowing exactly what to say. “I…Fuck, Natasha, I had no idea it was like that. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine, but I’m here if you do.” He smiled just barely and soon his arms were wrapped around her, Natasha’s forehead rested against his shoulder. It felt better with his arms around her, as if they were protecting her from the dangers that were out there. “But, you did kick his ass and that’s saying a lot. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. You didn’t give up.”

Natasha hadn’t thought of it like that, she just thought that it was common sense to fight back. After thinking about it for a long time, she nodded and smiled (just barely) up at him. “I broke his nose, or at least came close to it, but it did break my knuckle.”

“Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” Clint asked with concern flooding his eyes.  


“I’m fine, Clint. Just…Just don’t leave me quite yet, okay?” She couldn’t look back in his eyes for that last sentence. It felt like no matter how far away she tried to get from Clint or her feelings for him, she was brought right back to him.

“Trust me, I’m not leaving unless you want me to.” He smiled and kissed the top of her head.


	8. Somebody to Watch Over me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thankgiving break is over and things are actually looking up for Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite chapters to write. Sorry for the long wait.  
> As always, thanks to my beta - Ella

Thanksgiving break came and went far too slowly for Natasha, all she wanted was to get out of that house and get back to ‘normality’. Which consisted of dancing, school and hanging out with Clint.  


Yes, she considered hanging out with Clint part of her normal day life, which for her was saying quite a lot. There was still stuff hidden deep down and walls that had to be broken, but she liked being around him because he made her feel safe and wanted; those feelings were some that she wasn’t used to, she had no idea what it was like when someone wanted to be around her. Nearly everyone made a conscious effort to stay away from her, thinking that she was weird and a loner.  
Once back at school and everything had fallen back into a routine , she made an effort to text Clint first and ask him if he wanted to do a dance lesson or just hang out by the fountain.  


It was a Saturday afternoon and most people were at the football game, but she had never been one for sports, so she texted him and asked him to meet her at the bench by the fountain. He replied with a yes and for some reason, Natasha couldn’t help but grin.  
When Clint sat down next to her everything felt right. It felt like nothing else mattered and it was just the two of them; even though that feeling scared her and she didn’t know if she liked it or not, it felt right.  


“Did ya just want to hang out or are you missing me that much?” He teased and lightly shoved her shoulder.  


“Oh please, I thought you would be at the game anyways. Besides, hanging out with someone never hurt anyone.” Natasha rolled her eyes and tossed him a small grin. “I was bored and just wanted someone to talk to. Nothing more, nothing less.”  


Clint put his hands up as if he was surrendering and she moved so she was sitting on her feet and could watch him better. “Hey, I am perfectly fine with just hanging out with you, it’s a much better option than going to a football game. Don’t you remember that I’m kind of an archery brat?”  


How could she forget? He was on his way to being on the US Archery team and was aiming for competing in the 2016 Olympics; it was quite possible too. “Of course I didn’t forget! God, you have so little faith in me.”  


It got quite for a moment, as if he was about to say something serious and that was worrisome. Natasha wasn’t sure if she could handle getting hit with some serious statement. Before Thanksgiving break she remembered that Clint was going to admit to the fact that he liked her more than friends; she figured that he stopped liking her. Natasha thought she was too difficult, stubborn, isolated for someone to like her like that.  


“I have a lot more faith in than you think. And I’m not an idiot, Natasha. I know that you have been losing weight for dancing and not just a little weight.” Clint’s eyebrows kind of furrowed together and he looked genuinely concerned for her. “Natasha…” His voice just a whisper at this point. “You don’t need to do this. You’re a great dancer no matter how much you weigh.”  


Anger boiled inside of her and Natasha clenched her fists together. “Don’t talk to me as if you know what’s going on. You have no idea the things that have happened to me and things I have endured. You have no idea what you’re talking about. We may be friends and I may trust you a little bit, but that doesn’t make you a goddamn genius about my life!” Her chest rose quickly and she looked away from Clint, not wanting to hear what he was going to say next. It was ridiculous, she should’ve known that something like this was going to happen; where someone thinks they know every detail about her life and can give her advice about it.  


Shock was written all over his face and Clint took Natasha’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Then why don’t you tell me what’s going on. Help me have a better idea.”  


It was gentle and sweet and nothing like the response that she thought he would have. He cared, truly and absolutely cared about her. Natasha turned back to face him with her jaw slightly dropped. “Why do you care?” She shook her head and moved her hand away from his.  


“Do I need a reason? You’re my friend and I have told you things I haven’t told anyone else. I want you to be okay, I want you to trust me, and I want you to be happy.” Clint took her hand again, intertwining their fingers together. “I trust you and I care about you…more than you could even imagine.”  


What did that mean? Natasha tried not to dwell on that for the moment, instead she took a hard swallow and a deep breath. “I…I trust you too.” Her eyes closed and her fingers tightening around his, then began talking about everything in her life. Her parents dying when she wasn’t even ten years old and still living in Russia, the only living relative was her uncle in America. She told him how she had to adjust to American life and learn English; how her uncle began the abuse early with slaps and punches. There was so much more, but thinking about it became too overwhelming and Natasha shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t keep talking. There are still things that I haven’t dealt with and I don’t want you to be a part of it.”  


“Sh…That’s fine, you can tell me whenever you’re ready, okay?” Clint brought her closer and put his other arm around her shoulders. “You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Natasha. You’ve been through so much and I can’t imagine going through everything you’ve been through. Thank you, for trusting me.”  


She looked up at him with a small smile, her breath still coming in short sharp inhales. “You’re welcome. Thank you for sticking around and actually caring about me, I don’t know anyone else that has done that to me.”  


“There was just something about you that drew me to you and I can’t explain it, because I have no idea what it was. I’m not complaining though.” He kissed the side of her head and let out a small chuckle. “Do you remember that first time we met?”  


Natasha nodded and put her head on his shoulder, liking the closeness for once. Usually she wanted to be far away and not have anywhere near her, but this was different. It was comforting, just like everything else with him. “How could I forget? I was coming back from dancing and you told me you knew my face. The only person who willingly came up and tried to get a conversation started.” It would be the day that ended up changing her life forever, that day she made a friend and found someone that actually wanted to be with her.  


“I just had to talk to you. Your dancing was, and is, always perfection and I was memorized by you…everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, your strive for perfection, your smile, your stubbornness, the way you taught me to dance, and I couldn’t help but to fall head over heels for you. Natasha, you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I know you have your walls, but I want to be the person to tear them down. I want to be the person you can open up to and trust with any and everything.” He moved his shoulder so he could look at her. “And I pray to every god that I didn’t just fuck this up.”  


Her eyes widened and her body told her to run, to get the hell out of there and never talk to him ever again; her heart told her to smile, to thank him, and tell him that she felt the exact same way about him. “If there was anyone I would want to tear down my walls, it would be you and only you.” Natasha smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. “Don’t worry, you didn’t fuck this up.”  
His mouth broke into a huge smile and he cradled one side of her face, before bringing her closer to him. “If it’s okay with you, I would really like to kiss you right now.”  


Natasha looked down and then back up at him, nodding slowly. “It’s okay with me.” Then, before she knew it his lips were pressed against hers and she was smiling into the kiss. Her body relaxing and telling her that it was okay, that this man would be good for her.  


His arm wrapped around her back and deepened the kiss as she was brought into his lap. Then, Clint pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, smiling widely. “You are…amazing.”  


All she could was blush furiously and move her eyes downward. “I’m really not. You’re the amazing one, you’re the one who took a chance on me, you’re the one who became my friend and helped me open up. I wouldn’t be like this without you.” Natasha moved her eyes so they looked into his, her smile growing.  


“Sh…Let’s just stay here for right now.” Clint moved so that she could rest her back into his chest.  


For once everything felt right.


	9. Lost Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas comes, but there's a lack of Christmas spirit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a month hiatus 'She Will be Loved' is back! My beta, Ella, and I have both been busy. I'm also starting uni (!!!) in a couple weeks, but will do my absolute best to keep writing!

Things felt way too good to be true and when they felt like that, that usually meant it was.  
Everything finally felt it was falling into place. Dancing was going great, Natasha’s grades were perfect, and there was Clint, who was pretty much a god-send. He was sweet, caring, and well, everything that she needed in her life.  


They were getting ready to go home for the winter and they were sitting on her bed, luckily Bobbi was gone or things could’ve been a little awkward. His fingers intertwined with hers as she rested her head against his shoulder. “Are you scared about being at home for so long?”  


Natasha sighed and after a moment shook her head. “Not really. It won’t be any different than living there full time. I’ll just have to make sure not to annoy him, which granted is easier said than done, but it’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”  


“You know that I can’t help but to worry, though I’ll try my best not to. Just give me a call if anything goes wrong and you can stay over at my place.” He couldn’t help but to smile and kiss the top of her head. “We better hang out during break, because I do have a Christmas present for you.”  


“Clint, you didn’t have to get me anything, especially considering I didn’t get you anything.” She looked up at him with her chin on his shoulder, thinking that even if she was religious, Clint was an angel. If he hadn’t come along and given her a chance, then who knows what would happen to her. If he hadn’t acted as a friend and cared so much about her, then going back home would be a lot more difficult. Not that she would ever tell him this, it was just a thought that occurred to her almost daily.  


Clint rolled his eyes and gave her a quick kiss before getting up. “Don’t worry about it. I wanted to give you something, even if we weren’t dating. I better go, I have to finish packing and then I’m leaving early tomorrow morning.”  


Natasha nodded her head and smiled, moving to lay on her back. “Yeah, I’ll see you sometime later this week then?” After he promised to her and she was left alone in her dorm with all her packing already done, she decided that she would go down to the dance studio. There wasn’t anything better to do and after break there would auditions for Cinderella. Even though Natasha had never been a fan of fairy tales, they weren’t very realistic in the hell that she lived in, that was never an excuse to not be in a production.  


Later the next day Natasha arrived back home and told her uncle that she was home, then got straight to unpacking for the little over a month she would be home for. It hadn’t even been six hours when she got the text from Clint telling her to meet him at the park that had become their regular spot.  


“Did you really miss me already?” She teased as she sat down in the swing next to him.  


Clint rolled his eyes and gave a fake laugh. “Oh very funny. I just wanted to give you your present now, because I don’t think I can another week or so. Just…close your eyes.”  


Natasha did as she was told and soon she felt cold metal around her neck. Jewelry. Once he was done she opened her eyes and looked down at the necklace, smiling softly. “You really didn’t have to get me anything, especially not jewelry.”  


“Like I said, I wanted to and don’t worry, it wasn’t anything too expensive.” He smiled and took her hand in his again. “It’s an arrow. Y’know, I’m an archer and everything.”  


“I got the reference, thanks. Seriously, thank you, this means a lot.” She gave his hand a squeeze and ran her fingers over the pendant. It was rare if Natasha got a present, especially anything from her uncle unless it was absolutely necessary. So, this little necklace that Clint didn’t think was very much, meant almost the whole world to Natasha.  


“You’re welcome. I didn’t know what to get you that you would actually like. I was torn between the ballet shoe and the arrow, but I figured that you already have a lot of ballet stuff, so I went with the arrow. I hope that isn’t too forward.” Clint said in an almost nervous tone. Nervous that she wouldn’t like the gift, it almost made her laugh. How could she not like it?  


“Too forward? Of course it isn’t. I do have a lot of ballet related things, so the arrow is nice. I’ll make sure to wear it more often than not.”  


That was when he pulled her swing closer to his own and gave her a long kiss, one that made any thoughts running through her head just stop. When she pulled away, her eyes were still closed and her forehead was resting against his. “I’m glad you liked it.” He muttered before kissing her again.  


It was a few hours later when Natasha was finally back home and unfortunately her uncle was right by the door waiting for her. “Where the hell have you been?” One of his hands gripping her chin and bringing her face closer to his.  


Natasha’s eyes widened and she struggled to swallow harshly, trying to think of an appropriate response that didn’t involve Clint. “I-I…I went for a walk and I got lost a-along the way. I’m sorry.” There weren’t many things that made her stutter, but her uncle was definitely one of them. Though, he could induce fear into a grown man and he probably has.  


For a moment she thought that he was going to let her go, that he believed her lie, but then his eyes darted downward and noticed the arrow necklace. “What is this? You were not wearing this when you left.” His fingers wrapped around the pendant and ripped it off of her neck, inspecting it closer as he finally let go of her chin.  


“That? I…I found it while on my walk.” She closed her eyes and looked down, knowing that there wasn’t a chance in hell that he would believe that.  


“A boy perhaps?” His frown turning into a smirk, as he put together the truth. “That would explain all the text messages and phone calls. Oh? You thought I didn’t know about those?” He laughed cold and harshly in her face. “I can look them up online and I do. So, is it a boy?”  


Natasha’s breath caught in her throat, her whole body freezing. “N-no, of course not. I know your rule about dating non-Russians.”  


“That’s a horrible lie. It would do you better to just tell the truth and face the consequences, but instead you choice to lie and thus the consequences are going to be a lot worse.” He threw the necklace across the room and let it lay there as he took his anger out on her. Punch after punch and then so much worse. Things that her nightmares were made of. “Now, I want you to break up with him right now in front of me and if I see any more texts or calls to him, you will face even worse.”  


“You can’t do that. You can’t make me break up with him. You’ve never even met him. He’s the most kind, gentle, and sweet person I have ever met.” Natasha shook her head and bit her lip, forcing herself not to cry. Pathetic, she thought to herself, crying over a boy.  


“Oh, but I can and I will. I am the master of the house and I can tell you what to do. I don’t care what he’s like, you are breaking up with him right now.”  


She could only nod her head as she got out her phone, dialing his number.  


“Hey, Natasha, is everything okay?” His voice was concerned and she could picture the look on his face.  


“I…yes, everything is fine.” Natasha forced herself to smile, even though she could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. “I just need to tell you something important.”  


“Okay, go right ahead, I’m all ears.” The happiness returned to his tone, the smile probably was there too.  


“I…I’m breaking up with you. I’m sorry, it’s just not going to work out between us.”  


There was silence, a lot of silence, it had to be at least a minute before Clint finally spoke again. “You’re joking right?”  


Natasha shook her head and swallowed a sob. “I’m not. Like I said, I’m so sorry. You don’t want to date someone like me to begin with. Just…get back together with Bobbi, you’ll be a lot more happy.”  


“Natasha, you told me about a month ago that if there was anyone who you wanted to tear down your walls it would be me. You don’t mean this.” Now, his voice was panicked and rushed. Natasha thought she could hear his voice breaking.  


“I’m sorry.” Was the last thing she said before glaring at her uncle and going up to her room, slamming the door behind her.  


There would be no way for Clint to like her now, he would lose all hope on her and things would fall back to the way they were. Where Natasha was hidden and closed off, while Clint was out going and happy as can be with Bobbi.  


Her phone continued blowing up with texts from him, but she had to ignore them and just hope that he would understand once they were back at school.  


Natasha never did have a lot of hope.


	10. Crashing Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha goes back to school and does her best to ignore Clint, but a major event brings her attention to only him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter before moving into my dorm! With school starting soon I don't know how much time I'll have to write, but I'll do my best!  
> As always, thanks to my beta, Ella!

The rest of the winter break went by incredibly slow; mostly due to the fact that Natasha had a curfew and wasn’t seeing Clint anymore. She had no idea what he was doing or how he was doing considering that her uncle also took away her phone. It wasn’t that Natasha missed having a boyfriend, it was the fact that someone actually wanted to be around her and liked her. For once she actually had a friend and now she was back to being by herself.

Maybe that was for the better. You didn’t get hurt that way and you don’t have to fear that someone will betray you. Now she would have more time to practice for the audition for ‘Cinderella’. Yes, it was better being alone.

When Natasha was back at school and unpacking her stuff in the dorm, Bobbi already knew what happened - either from talking to Clint or somehow the news had got around. Another reason why Natasha liked being alone.

“I heard you and Clint ‘broke up.’” Bobbi tried to bring it up nonchalantly, but that was almost impossible. That surprised her the most was that Bobbi didn’t sound angry or bitter, considering Natasha never told her she was dating Clint.

“Uh...Who did you hear that from?” Natasha looked up with her eyebrows slightly raised.

“From the source himself. He called me to see if I knew anything about why you did it.” That statement surprised her even more than the last one. Natasha had no idea that Clint still talked to Bobbi. She shrugged and sat down on her bed. “Why did you do it?”

Obviously Natasha couldn’t tell her the truth, not that even Clint knew the truth. “It wasn’t working out. He deserves someone that can actually...be a good girlfriend.” She sighed and pulled out her pointe shoes, they were still worn and holey from use. “It doesn’t matter, okay? We’re over and there’s nothing anyone can do about that.”

That was when she found herself standing back in the studio, looking at herself in the mirror. _Ridiculous_ , she thought, _to think that someone like Clint could ever like someone like me. He has no idea the shit I’ve been through, the things I’ve seen, the things that were done to me._ Natasha didn’t even feel like dancing, especially not in the same studio where she taught Clint. Where they opened up to each other and where she found herself slowly falling for the man that she thought cared for her.

“What are you doing?” A voice that was all too familiar called out by the doors. Her body froze and her eyes squeezed shut. “Natasha...” His voice was still as soft and caring as she remembered.

“Leave me alone. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing.” She turned around so her back was facing him. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You can’t just act like I mean nothing to you.”

Natasha whipped around with an icy cold expression. “I can do whatever the hell I want. I broke up with you, meaning I don’t care anymore.”

Clint shook his head, standing his ground and not letting any pain show on his face; he had to have learned that from her. “I’ll still be here if you need someone.”

“I don’t need anyone. Why can’t you wrap your mind around that? I can take care of myself.” She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, but she hoped that he couldn’t see how much this was hurting her.

“Natasha, you know that isn’t true. You can’t live your life without anyone.”

“Clint, you don’t know what I need. I’ve been living my life like that for the past nineteen years. Now, if you don’t mind, could you please leave me alone?”

He had nothing left to say, so he listened and turned around to walk out of the studio. Natasha sighed and ran her hand through her hair. If she hadn’t screwed things up before, she definitely did just now.

No matter how many times Natasha told herself that distancing herself from everyone else was for the best, deep down she knew that it wasn’t. She knew that she needed someone who would help her fight her demons. Someone who wouldn’t give up on her when she pulled away, but admitting that would be the most difficult thing.

Natasha always had to act like she had it all together, as if nothing bothered her. She had to be strong, because what was her other choice? Let her uncle have the satisfaction of breaking her apart? Not a chance in hell. There were no other choices; she couldn’t risk her uncle finding out about Clint again or who he actually was. Besides, he deserved someone that had their life together, someone who was able to love him. Someone that wasn’t her.

Even though Natasha did open up to him earlier and told him some of things that she had been through, Clint didn’t even know the whole story. He had no idea about some of things she had been through and she couldn’t bring herself to tell him; it would break his heart and Natasha couldn’t do that to him again.

\---------------------------------

Weeks had gone by and Natasha hadn’t talked to Clint since that day he came into the studio. She liked to think that he finally did give up on her and moved on to someone better. When she came back to the dorm after a day of classes she found Bobbi sitting on her bed crying.

“Bobbi...What’s wrong?” Her eyebrows furrowed together and there was a slightly worried look on her face, because Natasha had never seen Bobbi cry before.

It was a moment or two before Bobbi was actually able to get out something that was understandable. “It’s...it’s Clint. He was in a car accident and it’s really bad, Natasha. There’s a chance he isn’t going to make it.”

Natasha’s heart stopped beating and she shook her head. Not Clint. Anybody but Clint. “No...” Was all that she was able to get out. She could handle not talking to him, not dating him, but actually physically losing him. The fact that there would be no chance for them to even try again scared her more than anything.

“He’s in a coma right now and...and they aren’t sure he’s going to wake up. The doctors are letting friends in if you want...if you want to see him.” Bobbi sniffled before crying again. Which kind of surprised Natasha, she didn’t realize that they were actually still close friends even after the break-up, but that did make her a little happy that they didn’t hate each other’s guts.

“I...I guess I’ll go see him then.” Natasha left the dorm again and went to the closest bus stop since she didn’t have a car. The bus took her to the hospital where she went to the front desk to ask for Clint Barton. They told her he was on the fifth floor which was the ICU.

When she was there she asked the doctor what exactly had happened to him.

“Mr. Barton was in a head-on collision late last night. The other drive is at fault since he ran a red light. Is Mr. Barton your friend?” The man looked up from his clipboard and looked at Natasha apologetically.

“Uh...yeah. I actually haven’t talked to him in a few weeks though because...I was going through some stuff.” Natasha sighed and put her hands in her pockets. “Am I allowed to see him then?”

“I’m sorry. We’re doing everything we can for him. He’s in a coma right now, but you’re allowed to see him.” The doctor then led Natasha to his room and opened the door. Natasha thanked him and sat down in a chair next to Clint’s bed. He looked so peaceful just laying there.

“Clint, I have no idea if you can hear me or not. The worst injury I’ve ever had was a broken leg, so I don’t know what it’s like to be in a coma. I just wanted to say...” She felt ridiculous talking to someone who may or may not even hear her. “I’m sorry for the way I acted and...everything. You were right, I can't do this by myself. So, even if we don’t date, I need a friend and you’re really the only one I have. You can’t die, Clint. I don’t think I could ever open up to anyone else. Bobbi’s a mess. You have people who need you, Clint.” Then she reached out and took his hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Just hang in there. I can only imagine that you aren’t going down without a fight.”

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there with him, Natasha got up and left. She wanted him to wake up right then and there, but it looked like it was going to take a lot more time than that. When she got back to her dorm Bobbi was asleep, probably having cried herself to that state, and then Natasha crawled under her covers and cried as quietly as she could manage. 


	11. Learn to love again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's life has never been an easy one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After months of not updating here is the next chapter and I hope you guys like it! This probably will only have a few chapters left and wow. I don't know if I'll do a squeal, but enjoy!

Natasha had to go on like nothing was wrong. What else was there to do anyways? It wasn’t like she was just going to sit around in his hospital room waiting for him to wake. It wasn’t like she was going to mope around for someone who may or may not even wake up. Her thoughts were with him though as she moved across hard wood floor, as ink spilt over paper, and as conversations flowed. 

There were still auditions to take place and rolls to be given out, Natasha wasn’t about to give up being Cinderella just because someone she cares about is in the hospital. Eyes on the prize, she would tell herself as she could feel new blister begin on her toes, as she skipped meals and stayed up late, you can’t afford to not be the lead. They say that you are your own worst critic and that was nothing but the truth for Natasha; she was always critical of herself and watched past performances, cringing at the slightest of mishaps, all in the hopes of getting better. 

Ballet was a brutal thing. It wore you down mentally, physically, and even spiritually. It wasn’t for the faint at heart to say the least. There were risks to doing ballet, countless injuries and the rampant problem of eating disorders in the community. Natasha wanted to prove that to everyone that she was strong and so much more than the quiet girl in their chemistry class. That she had goals, dreams, failures, and stories of losses and of gains. They had no idea of the storm that was inside of her. 

Her parents had died when she was young and she was still living in Russia, that was when it all came crashing down. With one simple fire. With one simple fire her world had been turned upside down, quite literally as she moved to America to live with an uncle. As if things couldn’t get worse from there, they did. She was only a young girl the first time he hit her as if she was nothing more than the dirt below his shoes. 

As if she didn’t deserve to have him as her guardian, that he could’ve just as easily let her be put in an orphanage in Russia. That she should be thankful to him of all things. Thankful that he was the reason her life was a living nightmare that she was fearful when she came home from school and from dance lessons. The reason she was afraid to slip up and the reason she didn’t open up for anyone, because how was she suppose to know if they would hurt her like he had so many times before? 

It only got worse from there and most of the memories she had pushed far far away to the back of her mind so that, hopefully, she would never have to think about it again. That hopefully it would never happen again. Unfortunately for Natasha, it did. Her guardian used many different forms of abuse, none of them untouched, and each time chipping away at the girl she used to be.

But then there was ballet. Her parents had signed her up in the beginning and her uncle had made her continue, but that was something she was more than okay with. It helped her get away from not only him physically, but also mentally. Natasha would put all of her energy in it, because it made her feel good. Which was rare, because not many things did make her feel good. After a few years she was able to move on to pointe and that was even better, that was when she started to realize how much she really did love ballet.

That was where Natasha found herself that cold February afternoon, on a hard tiled floor with shoes tied up her ankles, working on her timing. Auditions were only in a few days and if things would happen the way Natasha wanted them to happen, then she would be wearing blue in a few months dancing with a prince. Of course there lots of other things going on, class work, presentations, and speeches to be made. Dancing would always be her favorite though.

\------------  
Her finger slid down the paper, looking for her name and suddenly her stomach dropped and she turned around, jaw dropped. She wasn’t Cinderella. She was one of the step-sisters, which was still a fairly big part, but it wasn’t a princess. Now she wouldn’t get the chance to dance with her prince. Then her mind began replaying the audition, everything she did and every small mishap that she did, trying to figure out where she went wrong. 

Then it clicked. It wasn’t that she messed up on footwork, but she wasn’t completely focused. There was only one place where her mind could’ve been. Clint Barton. The man who loved her that made her forget about her home, that made her actually feel wanted. 

Natasha’s stomach churned again. Her uncle would be disgusted that she messed up an audition because she was thinking about a boy. Feeling conflicted about how she was going through so many different emotions she decided to go back to the dorm and talk to Bobbi, since she had actually dated Clint and she probably had a lot more experience when it came to guys.

Luckily, Bobbi was there when she opened the door to their small room, one half covered with science posters and information and the other covered in ballet posters. “Hey, Bobbi, can I talk to you?” Natasha muttered before sitting down on the bed. 

Bobbi looked much better than she did almost a week ago, when the car accident had happened, and she looked genuinely happy. Which was good, because Natasha liked seeing her happy and was happy that even though Natasha was dating her ex they were friends. “Of course we can, Natasha.” She turned around in her computer chair, smiling at the other. 

“So, the auditions for Cinderella were today and…I didn’t get Cinderella. When I auditioned my mind wasn’t clear, I was thinking about Clint and…am I ridiculous for messing up an audition because I was thinking about a boy?” 

Her face softened even more, if that was even possible, and she shook her head before sitting down next to Natasha on the bed. “Of course it’s not ridiculous. You care about Clint and you guys do have history together, you’re worried that he isn’t going to be okay. It’s completely normal. Why do you ask?”

Natasha bit her lip before shrugging a little bit. “My uncle would think I was pathetic for thinking about a boy. And I’m starting to think so as well. It’s not just that I’m worried about him I…” She trailed off her chest clenching.

“You love him.” Bobbi said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As if she knew exactly what she was thinking. 

“No! No, I don’t love him. Love is for other people. Not…Not for me.” She shook her head before standing up and facing Bobbi. “I care about him. I like him, but I don’t love him.”

The blonde stood up and smiled before taking her by the shoulders. “Natasha, you deserve someone who loves you and let me tell you something. Whenever I talk to Clint he always talks about you and his face lights up and I know he loves you. It’s obvious.”

Natasha looked down at the floor before looking up at Bobbi with wide eyes when she said that Clint loved her too. Even if it was obvious to almost everyone else, she couldn’t believe that someone would choose to love her. “I…Really? You seriously think he loves me?”

“Of course I do. Natasha, Clint and I dated for a little over two years, I know him pretty well. Even if we aren’t together, we’re friends and I can tell when he loves someone. He used to look at me like that. I want you to be happy.” Bobbi smiled and gave her shoulders another squeeze. “Go to the hospital, okay? Just sit there with him.”

Even though it was still hard to believe Natasha took Bobbi’s advice and went to the hospital where Clint was still in a coma, had been for over a week. 

The doctors took her to his room where she sat down in the chair by his bed. For a moment she didn’t do anything, just sat there in silence, but then she took his hand and intertwined their fingers together. “It’s…It’s Natasha.” She said as if he could actually hear her, but then again what did she know? Maybe he could hear her. “I…I had the audition for Cinderella. I didn’t get the part, but that’s okay.”

For another few minutes she sat there in silence, trying to think of what to say. What did you say to someone who was in a coma?

“I talked to Bobbi before I came here and she helped me realize something. It’s okay to be in love. It’s okay to love someone, especially someone who loves you. I’m still not comfortable saying it, because it’s weird, but I still feel it.” 

Then as if some god had been listening to her prayers, Clint’s eyes fluttered and soon they were open. “What…What happened?” His voice slurred and low. Natasha was so happy she could kiss him right there.

“Oh my god.” Was all Natasha could say before the tears started forming in her eyes. “You were…you were in a car accident and in a coma for about a week.”

When he realized just who was talking a small smile formed on his lips. “Nat, you’re here.” 

She just nodded before giving his hand another squeeze. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”


	12. Give Me Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint gets out of the hospital and everything is close to perfect  
> Chapter notes at the end

It was a few weeks later when they finally released Clint from the hospital, wanting to make sure that he was completely healthy and that there were no other problems. Natasha visited whenever she could between homework and dance practices, but she was able to go at least three times a week. If she wasn’t able to go then Bobbi would go for her and keep Clint company. 

By the time that he was released the semester only had a few more weeks left and he decided he was going to have to retake this semester. 

Natasha didn’t know that he had gotten released though, no one had told her, and she wasn’t expecting it because she knew that he could be there for even longer if need be. So when she got back to her dorm after an especially brutal dance recital she found Clint sitting on her bed waiting for her. “Clint!” A grin spread across her face and he stood to wrap his arms around her. “I…I didn’t know they were releasing you today, I would’ve been there to pick you up.”

Clint just smiled, not answering, instead kissing her and holding her body close against his own. Her arms tightened around his neck and even though she didn’t want to stop kissing him, she had to breath, and she rested her forehead against Clint’s. “I know, but your reaction when you came in the door was priceless.”

“You’re horrible.” She laughed and kissed him again, fingers tugging on his short blonde hair. “Where’s Bobbi?” Was all she was able to get out as Clint moved to kiss down her neck. 

“Class. I also told her to give us a little bit of time, so we shouldn’t be expecting her back any time soon.” He mumbled against her skin before his own fingers ghosted up her shirt. 

Soon she put the pieces together and her jaw dropped a little bit out of surprise. “Oh…Oh my god you were trying to make this romantic, weren’t you?” Of course Natasha would be lying if she said she had never thought about Clint that way. If she said she never thought about them having sex. They were both nineteen going on twenty and even though she was a little nervous, she wanted to. She really wanted to.

Clint moved away slightly, looking down at the floor before slowly lifting his head up to meet her eyes; he was blushing slightly. “I just…Yeah, I guess I did want it to be romantic. As romantic as it can be in a dorm, you know?” They both laughed before Natasha dropped her arms and took Clint’s hands in her own. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Natasha gave his hands a squeeze before nodding. “No, I want to. I’m just slightly nervous, you know?” 

Even though Clint didn’t know every detail of her life and her past, he picked up on what she meant, especially considering how verbally and emotionally abusive her uncle was. “It’s okay.”

Natasha believed him and Clint gave her the reigns, let her take things as slow as she wanted to, because this was all about making sure she was comfortable. Sure, there was the pleasure, but Clint wanted to show her how much he loved her and wanted her to be comfortable first and for most. 

After Natasha gave him the okay she relaxed immensely and helped them both out of their clothes. All the while Clint made sure to show every patch of new skin revealed the attention it deserved. Finally they both were naked and Natasha couldn’t help but to notice that he looked at her as if he was looking at a piece of art. Completely and utterly in awe. It was enough to make her blush and laugh a little bit.

“What’s so funny?” Clint tilted his head with smile before wrapping an arm around her waist, their two bodies now completely pressed against each other. No barriers. 

“Nothing. I mean, the way you’re looking at me is pretty intense. I don’t think I’ve ever been looked at like that before.” She shrugged before starting to get nervous again. They were actually going to do this. They were actually going to have sex. “Damn. I just got nervous all over again.”

He sat them both down on her bed, both of his arms wrapped around her and pulled her into his lap. “It’s okay, Tasha. We can take this slowly.”

So they did. 

Natasha decided that it was okay if Clint was on top, was okay with giving him that small bit of power, because she trusted him more than anyone. Trusted him enough with that power. Trusted him not to hurt her. 

It wasn’t as painful as she imagined it being. He moved inside her wonderfully and she had no idea why she was ever nervous before, because Natasha could literally feel how much he loved her pouring out of him. In almost every single breath he said that he loved her, said that he loved her so much.

But Natasha took them both of surprise. “I love you too.” She said breathlessly. The words just barely above a whisper, just like all the other noises they were making. You could only be so loud in a dorm after all. 

He smiled and nodded his head, not saying anything, but there was nothing else that needed to be said. 

It was like Clint was the missing piece she didn’t know she was looking for and when she did find it, he fit her perfectly. Completed the puzzle she didn’t know she was working on. Didn’t even know that there was an emptiness inside before he came to fill her up. If anyone else had asked her what she was feeling she wouldn’t know how to describe it, because it was so much more than just love.

While she couldn’t think of the word now, hell she couldn’t think of anything right now besides Clint and how perfect he was and how he perfect this was. 

They both came together, their cries muffled by the fact that their mouths were pressed against the others. Natasha didn’t want him to leave, she liked his weight on top of hers, she liked how he made her feel. “I love you.” She repeated with a smile, running her fingers back through his hair. 

“I love you, too, Nat.”

\----  
There were two weeks left in the semester and for once Natasha was actually happy with how everything was going. She was doing well in all her classes, she was more than okay with not being the lead in the ballet, she had an amazing best friend, and she had an amazing boyfriend.

Last semester if you told her that she was going to be best friends with Bobbi Morse and Clint Barton was going to be her boyfriend she would’ve laughed at you, but here she was with all of that. All of that and more. 

She had found people who really cared about her and would look out for her, which was something she wasn’t used to. Wasn’t used with being cared about or loved. 

\---  
It was a Friday night and Natasha, Bobbi, and Clint were all on her bed (Natasha in the middle) having a Harry Potter movie marathon when she looked at the two friends by her side. 

“What?” Clint raised an eyebrow at her as he caught her looking at both of them.

“Nothing. Nothing. I’m just really happy that I have you guys in my life.” Natasha put an arm around Bobbi’s neck and leaned her head on Clint’s shoulder.

Bobbi couldn’t help but to laugh a little, all in good fun. “Look at that, Barton, it seems like we made Natasha Romanoff soft!” Which made Natasha roll her eyes and give her a shove.

“Shut it, Morse.” Natasha mumbled before they all started laughing again.

\---  
Cinderella was going to be put on the last week of classes before exams, so even though Natasha wanted to be studying, she had to be in the studio or in the auditorium for dress rehearsals. Though once dress rehearsals started she forgot why she ever wanted to be studying in the first place. 

Opening night was packed. It always was, but this time it seemed even more full than any of the other times. Of course once she went out she immediately spotted Clint and Bobbi in the front row, watching her perform with such awe in their eyes. It made her stomach flutter and she wondered how she ever made it through her freshman year without them. How she ever made it without people who cared about her. 

She couldn’t think about them for long because her attention needed to be on the dance and on her footwork; she would be able to think about them once it was over.

\---  
The last two weeks ended far too quickly and Natasha got packed up, which was horrible. She wasn’t going back home, but instead moving into an apartment building that was near campus. With Clint. 

They would be getting their first place together and Natasha couldn’t be more excited to see what the future had in store for them. Both of them had found jobs around the area – Natasha as a dance instructor and Clint as an archery instructor for near by YMCA. It would be difficult during the school year with jobs and school and trying not to spend too much time together in bed, but it would be worth it. 

But both of them were getting away from their less than desirable homes and would be living with someone who loved them more than they loved themselves.

Bobbi was given an invitation to visit whenever she wanted.

\---  
Clint and her moved in immediately following the end of the school year, neither of them realized how much work unpacking was. Or how much work getting furniture was. It was worth it though. Throughout the summer when they weren’t working they would lay in bed together, hands intertwined, relishing in the other’s company.

Natasha wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter guys and wow I wrote this for over a year!  
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments, and just for all the support.  
> I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me!  
> I will probably write some one-shots in the universe but no promise!   
> Ending this was a very hard decision, but I felt like it was time. It was actually incredibly upsetting.  
> Thanks for everything you guys <3


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